Insomnia, especially long-term insomnia, is tough. Whether you can’t fall asleep, wake in the middle of the night, or wake too early in the morning, recurring sleeplessness wears on the nerves and emotions.
 
Sometimes the reason for a bad night’s sleep is clearly connected to anxiety or anticipation over what’s happening in your life. For example, there may be an upcoming event, a significant life change, or a big decision to make.

However, when the reasons are not as obvious or when insomnia persists, that’s an indicator of deeper issues that we may be having trouble facing. During the day while our egos are alert, our defenses may consciously or unconsciously block difficult things from our awareness. When let go into sleep our defenses go to sleep as well, and blocked issues have the chance to bubble up to the surface of consciousness.​

Treating Insomnia
As I’ve endeavored to face fears and follow my heart, I’ve spent some dark hours awake and alone in the middle of the night in various states of anxiety and acceptance.  
 
It’s natural to want to “cure” insomnia as quickly as possible, since a restful night’s sleep is right up there with air, water, shelter, and food on the list of fundamental human needs. Bedtime routines and sleep hygiene can help, as well as listening to a calming meditation before bed. The Internet offers many suggestions and resources. Alternatively, there are a wide variety of pills available.
 
Of the various over-the-counter remedies such as melatonin, Advil-PM, and Valerian, melatonin has given the best results for me. Because it’s non-habit forming, unlike most prescription sleep aids, I don’t worry about the side effects. Yoga Nidra recordings have also been a go-to aid to relax me back to sleep.
 
But at a certain point my sleep aids failed to work, and this pushed me to look for a deeper self-healing approach.
 
Turning to Intuition
In dealing with insomnia, I’ve had to accept how strong my fears can be and how supremely gentle, compassionate, and creative my approach must be in uncovering them.

After raging against the symptom and not making progress, I finally got to a place where surrender became the only option. With surrender, my perspective changed—I found gratitude for my symptoms, and a new level of humility.  It became apparent that having this experience was necessary to inspire me to change.
 
At the suggestion of a trusted practitioner, I decided to practice what I preach: see my insomnia as a mirror, turn on the receptivity of my intuitive self, and listen and learn.
 
Here are the suggested intuitive practice steps that I have found helpful.
 
Steps for Intuitive Practice
1. Accept and Surrender

• Accept that there is something you are afraid or unwilling to see. Accept that physical well-being depends on finding courage to go deeper and see what’s there.
• Surrender to the insomnia. If you use sleep aids, for 1–2 days a week you may choose to put them aside and commit to being present with what happens, using the steps below. However, if you use prescription sleep aids that may be combined with anti-depressants or any other medication, please check with your doctor before making any changes.
• Vow to go through the process with compassion and gentleness. This includes cutting yourself slack in your waking life on days when you don’t get much rest. Create a cushion of space and time to allow healing to take place. For example, if you normally have your daily activities planned back-to-back, consider scheduling less. If you are a parent, arrange for a few extra hours of child care to allow for rest during the day. If this seems completely undoable, then your daily routine could be the first place to investigate for the source of your sleep issues.

 
2. Celebrate

• Have an internal celebration, knowing that the release of whatever is causing your insomnia holds the key to potentially deep and significant healing in your life. If it wasn’t a big deal, it wouldn’t be hidden this deep. Know that the “dark” part of what is being brought to light is wrapped around a strength or innate gift. When you bring that part of yourself out of the dark, the gifts that are associated with it will be freed as well.

 
3. Organize

• Keep a journal and pen next to your bed.
• If you share your bed, find a small source of light, such as a headlamp, that you can turn on at night without waking your bed mate.

 
4. Notice and Write
When you wake up in the night, pay attention to what is in your awareness. Collect this awareness in a semi-waking state, then sit up and write down what you noticed. For example,

• If you wake from a dream, note the subject/theme/symbol/character in your dream.
• If you wake with a thought or feeling, note what or who you are thinking about. (For example, a song lyric or a memory that has emotional significance)
• If you lay in bed unable to get to sleep, note the thoughts in your head. Drop out of your mind and into your heart, feel into your body. What is the predominant sensation or emotion? Sit up and write it down.

Write as many plain details as you can. Don’t worry if they don’t make sense or seem random. When you are fully awake later on you can begin to connect the dots. Write down the time of night with each entry and leave journal space for later reflection. Do this each time you wake up or can’t get to sleep.
 
5. Reflect
Set aside time during the day to review your notes. In your waking state write your impressions in the blank space after each entry. Here are some tips to make this meaningful:

• Look at the information through the lens of metaphor. The deepest parts of our consciousness speak to us in metaphors, archetypes, and symbols. Drop your literal interpretation and look for what the messages represent or symbolize in your life.
• Meditate on a character or memory or concept from your notes. Ask the question, “Why is this person/place/experience in my awareness at night when I am trying to sleep?” Then be quiet and allow images, words, or knowing to come.
• Dialogue with a character or image in your dream. Use a pen and paper. Select the character and write its name on top of the page with your dominant hand and set the intention to let the character speak through you. With your non-dominant hand write a question, such as, “Why are you in my dream?” Then put the pen in your dominant hand, relax, and listen for the voice of the character, writing down whatever messages or images you get.
• Notice if the time of your insomnia has a pattern, like waking up each night at 3:00am. Reference the Chinese Five Element Time Table (below) which maps the elements and body meridians onto the 24-hour day. Find the element that governs the hour(s) of your insomnia and read about its qualities, especially the emotion associated with that element.

 
6. See Patterns/Make Choices

• Every few days or each week, take inventory of the messages and patterns. Notice if you begin to receive more awarenesses in your waking day.
• Consciously slow down and allow yourself to feel the feelings associated with your awarenesses. These can be difficult feelings, such as loneliness, grief, anxiety, fear, or shame. As the feelings come to the surface, the wounds and patterns they are linked to can begin to heal.
• When issues are very deep, it can be tough to get to them on your own since the defensive ego works very hard to keep us “safe” in the familiar and protect us from seeing what is in the shadow, or the unconscious. You may choose to work with a trusted therapist, energy healer, or intuitive counselor to support your exploration and help bring an objective perspective.

 
My Results
I’m grateful to say that implementing this approach has improved my sleep and provided healing insight in my waking life. Although there may still be some wakeful nights, I no longer go to bed with anxiety about insomnia. I’ve come to appreciate the opportunity to walk through the doorway of my inner awareness when it opens, even when it looks dark.
 
May you sleep and dream well.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Chinese Five Element Time Table

The other day while having lunch with my sister and our 97-year-old grandma at a Chinese restaurant (Chinese is gram’s favorite!) the following advice appeared in my fortune cookie: Practice is the best of all instructors.
 
Bam. The message resonated--and it appeared at the right time for support. Over the winter I’d been working to reignite and deepen my personal meditation and self-healing practice. Tto be honest, it required a challenging new level of disciplined and patience.
 
As I considered the message in the fortune cookie, I started thinking about how I came to learn what I know and how, in most cases, my independent practice provided the leaping-off point from which I moved from novice to confidence to self-authority (and then continued to practice!)
 
Owning Your Practice
If you’ve ever been involved in a team sport or group exercise, after the teacher-led coaching or instruction there’s an opportunity to step away and practiced on your own. If you did practice on your own, you may have found that you returned to the group practice with a new feeling of authority in your body and ownership of your skill.
 
I experienced the impact of independent exploration in my yoga practice a few years ago. As soon as I began practicing away from class on my own, I developed a new relationship to my body awareness. Back in class, the teacher’s guidance still supported my learning, but I had become my own guide in how to deepen my practice and communicate with my body. Yoga is no longer an outside challenge that I needed to master. Rather, I’ve integrated yoga into the way I express and know myself.
 
You can do this too. You can connect directly to your inner awareness and empowerment. Perhaps you’ve begun already.

Embodying Your Intuition
A very talented violin soloist played at a concert I recently attended. Although the soloist was a petite woman, I kept noticing how small the violin looked in her hands. She seemed to have energetically embodied the violin so that it became an extension of herself.
 
Developing your intuition is similar to learning to play a musical instrument. At first, intuition may seem larger than you and outside of your grasp. With practice, as you grow your skills and awareness, intuition becomes an integral part of your consciousness.
 
There are a few universal truths about intuition and inner guidance, but the way we experience our inner guidance is unique to each one of us. When exploring intuition it’s essential to learn your own inner language: the specific way you receive and perceive information from within. There’s no one who can tell you what your intuition feels like, sounds like, or looks like. No one can experience your inner guidance and the way it works but you.
 
Of course, having a teacher remains helpful and important. I have deep gratitude and appreciation for my teachers and mentors who modeled their own self-practice and exploration. Teachers share information and hold a space for you to explore and learn. However, after the class, you choose whether to take what you’ve learned into action through practice and application in your daily life. If you do, it creates a powerful combination of teacher/group support and independent practice.

A Story of Personal Practice 
When I was studying energy healing, my teacher at the time introduced the concept of spirit guides: we each have a guide that is specifically assigned to us. In class we connected to our guide and learned what that felt like. We then received an assignment between classes: on a daily basis, connect to your guide and use writing to channel the guidance your guide has for you.
 
I accepted the practice. For several months, each morning I took 10–20 minutes to stretch, center myself in meditation, and connect to my guide. My awareness expanded exponentially. I owned my relationship to my guide and anchored that connection. I also learned what my own inner voice sounded like, so I could begin to discern the voice of my higher truth from all the other voices in my head.
 
When I returned to class, I felt a new layer in my inner foundation that was always with me no matter who my teacher was and whether I was part of a group or not.
 
Becoming Your Own Teacher
We’ve entered an era of self-directed discovery. We find ourselves less and less likely to look to a supreme authority for direction. Therapists and healing professionals provide a foundational service to support our growth. However, if you see a therapist or healer or take classes on a regular basis but do not have your own independent practice (journaling, self-reflection, meditation, movement, or whatever supports you) you’re setting up a dynamic of imbalance. Without maintaining a personal practice, how can you cultivate your own space for observing, information collecting, self-healing, and self-expression? How will you learn what you truly know, feel, and need?

The practice of getting to know yourself in depth isn't quick or easy. There’s no shortcut to mastery, just like there’s no shortcut to healing. It takes trial and error. Sometimes you're on the horse and sometimes you fall off.  But if you stick with a practice for any length of time, your inner awareness begins to bubble up from inside, and you begin to create a personal foundation that stays with you wherever you go.
 
Next Steps

1. Choose a skill or activity that you are drawn to. Perhaps you’re already learning it, perhaps you have yet to begin.
2. Create a personal practice you can implement to support your learning. This is an additional to any teacher-led classes or group work that you may already be doing.
3. Decide what level of commitment you are able to make at this time. (Daily? Weekly? 10 minutes? 30 minutes?) For what duration will you practice? (21 days? 40 days? 3 months? A year?)
4. Begin your practice.

Each Year Has a Focus
Every year at midnight on December 31st we experience the energetic shift to the New Year. The edges of this shift can be felt starting in early December and continuing into January and beyond.

Each year has its own flavor, purpose, and focus--both universally for the world, and personally for each one of us. Our personal path for the year is determined by our own past choices as well as what's in our highest interest. This doesn’t mean that the future is fated or pre-programmed, rather there is a blueprint of opportunities for growth and expansion for each individual each year. When we connect our awareness to the energetic focus of the year, it opens doors for understanding, harmony, and resilience in the face of challenge.
 
An Alternative to Resolutions
At the beginning of a New Year, a common approach is to make New Year’s resolutions—commitments to change certain behaviors or situations. The thing about resolutions is they're usually produced in the mind using judgment about how we should look, act, feel, and be. Resolutions made with this energy are not in flow with the natural process of change (internal shifts that cause lasting, external changes). Things that are not in flow require force and raw willpower to sustain them. As a result, although well intended, these resolutions often fall along the wayside by about mid-February when willpower runs out.
 
Here’s an alternative approach for fulfillment in the coming year that involves enlisting your self-connection and your natural inner guidance system. This four-step process doesn’t require willpower or force. Instead, it’s based on deep listening and letting go to your truth. (Disclaimer: Focus, courage, and some discipline may be required!)
 
1. Find Gratitude for Yourself in the Closing Year
The best way to increase happiness, fulfillment, and success in your life is to validate and appreciate all that you've already done and received. So before looking forward to the New Year, with pen and paper in hand, take a few minutes to review the closing year.
 
Sit down, perhaps with your calendar, datebook, or journal close by as a reference, and write down the things you accomplished, created, or experienced this past year starting with January and going through to December. You don’t need to write every small action, but do capture the significant events. If you do not end up with at least one to three items per month, take a breath and look more closely!
 
For example “started doing yoga,” “finally went to the dentist,” “bought a car,” “helped my mom move,” “took a vacation,” “made a financial plan, ””changed my diet,” “met the project deadline at work,” “navigated through a difficult separation,” “built new friendships,” or “learned how to salsa.”
 
Then, sit down and reread your list. As you do, take a deep breath and focus on the center of your chest. Do your best to connect to a feeling of gratitude. Acknowledge that you possess the strength, commitment, perseverance, intelligence, creativity, and thoughtfulness that allowed you to complete these things. Find self-appreciation for all that you created. You may realize that the year that may have felt like it kicked your butt was also a year that you kicked butt! 
 
2. Find Compassion for Yourself in the Closing Year
Next, take a few minutes to consider the goals or personal standards that you did not meet. Perhaps there were situations you wished you had handled differently, or challenges that you would have liked to embrace more fully. Take note of these. Write them down.
 
You may be tempted to begin self-attack or negative self-talk as you do this. Notice this temptation, but do not engage it. This is a defensive behavior that your ego uses to keep you cycling in the same “safe” pattern over and over.
 
Instead, focus on your heart center and connect to your best maturity and courage. (Yes, it’s in there!) This will allow you to face your own shortcomings (we all have them) and see yourself more clearly, which empowers you to take responsibility and make changes as you are able. This also allows you to find compassion for yourself.
 
Before moving on to the next step, do your best to experience the feeling of compassion toward yourself. Learning to be gentle and compassionate with yourself may take a little practice. Here are some tips.

• Compassion and judgment cancel each other out. Remove judgment to get to compassion.
• Compassion is experienced when you open your heart. Soften your heart to yourself.
• Even if you don’t feel it all the way (yet), repeat this phrase for each item on your list, “Even though I [insert behavior or action], I still love and accept myself completely.”

 
As you work through this step, you may experience ah-hah moments or the feeling of stuck patterns unwinding. Write down your impressions.
 
3. Receive Guidance for the New Year
Here is where your intuition comes in. If you put all the burden on your mind to determine what to focus on next year, you will likely get an ego-influenced interpretation of what should (read: judgement) be done. Connecting to your inner guidance system provides a more neutral, supportive, and realistic approach.
 
To connect to inner guidance, take several deep breaths, drop you awareness into your body, and focus on your heart center. From here, ask an open ended question, such as
 
“What is the focus or theme for me in the New Year?”  
“What would be in my highest interest to focus on in the New Year?” or
“What would you like to tell me about the next year?”
 
Then listen and feel. Write down your impressions.
 
If you already have a prepared list of things you’d like to try or accomplish next year, you can run each one by your intuition, asking “Would it be in my highest interest to __?” or “What would you like to tell me about my intention to __?” As you do this, focus on your heart center. Feel how your body reacts as you state each item from you list. Annotate your list with your intuitive impressions.
 
You then have the opportunity to “follow your heart” by moving toward the things that resonate with your heart and letting go of (at least for now) those that don’t.

 
4) Check with Intuition Each Month
The year progresses through a natural creation cycle with a beginning, middle crescendo, and a closing. Each month the energy shifts along this progression. As time passes from month to month, nothing is set in stone. You have free will in your life: your actions today determine what happens tomorrow.
 
Sometimes it may seem that you don’t have choices, but this is a temporary illusion. Although none of them may seem easy or attractive, choices are always available to you. If you consistently follow your heart and intuition to make the healthiest choice available to you in the moment, over time you will strengthen your foundation and your life will expand and change.
 
Of course, having “free will” does not mean having a free and easy life, and it doesn’t mean that life won’t throw a stinging curve ball your way. Making choices that lead you closer to your higher truth is not for the faint of heart. It requires courage and inner strength, which grows and grows with each empowered choice.
 
Knowing this, take a few minutes each month to check in with your heart and your intuitive guidance to see what’s new! Then make the choices that will create your 2016.
___________________
 
If you would like support in wrapping up the year with appreciationg, I am available for one-on-one sessions.